meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize