a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You left your phone here
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