She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
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I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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