I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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