Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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