I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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