I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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