The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize