Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm passing your future prison.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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