dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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