My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's always time for handjobs
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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