I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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