We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just cropdusted the office
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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