this beer tastes like vomit already
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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