the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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