I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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