She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize