On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize