im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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