fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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