Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You're completely useless in the revolution.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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