What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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