FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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