So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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