Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
id be glad to
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize