Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
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I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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