Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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