If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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