she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize