Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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