Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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