puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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