Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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