after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My vagina is officially offended.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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