Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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