Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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