Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize