I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize