shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize