i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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