New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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