K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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