I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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