Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize