You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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