his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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