quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize