Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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