We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
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About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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