you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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